oh, insomnia…and more music

So, first–30 day music challenge stuff.  Day 16.  Favorite song from a movie soundtrack.

I watched Once, years ago, with an ex during one of our “date nights” and, basically, just fell in love with it.  I’m not a huge musical movie fan, but I absolutely adore Glen Hansard–in any form.  So, this was love at first listen.  Oddly, this particular song apparently reminds a few people of me.  Something about stubborn loyalty.  Pfft.

Anyway, listen…and then scroll down for random questions from this insomniac.

1. You get to marry one fictional character – who is it?
Maybe Tom (Joseph Gordon Levitt) in 500 Days of Summer. Although he might be too much like me. Total INFP, there.  Or Johnny Castle in Dirty Dancing because I mean–the Swayze swoon.

2. If you didn’t have to worry about money or a job, where would you live in the world?
New Zealand or Manhattan.  I actually have felt very drawn there lately.  Or even SF proper.

3. What was the last book that you got so absorbed in that you couldn’t put it down?
I haven’t read a lot of fiction in years.  Probably Paul Auster’s new book. Because Auster.

4. In your mind, what are your 3 biggest weaknesses?
Oh, gosh.  There are coping mechanisms that are not me…and then actual weaknesses that ARE me.  Coping mechanisms: perfectionism, control freak inclinations, and anxious worrying.  Actual weaknesses: impatience, prone to moral high grounding, and sometimes defensive.

5. You only get 3 words to describe yourself – what are they?
One thing I get a lot of is that I’m effusive.  Which is such a great compliment.  I would say I’m also pretty intense and playful.

6. Which is better to listen to – your heart or your brain?
No such thing as “better.”  I would say I’m more apt to listen to my heart, though that’s a rather new occurrence since my mother died.  (I am actually going to try to write more on this topic later this week, hopefully).  My brain does come into play, and I often listen to it, too…but others often call this Alma logic–which tends to be highly infected by heart-infused mess.

7. Do you consider yourself a spiritual person? How about religious?
I would definitely say I’m spiritual.  I am not religious, but I am fascinated by religion.  I think this may be why Buddhism fits me so well.  You can see any religion through a Buddhist lens, and its dogma doesn’t really negate other belief systems.  I call myself a Beginner Buddhist because I really haven’t formally studied it.  I just basically lived my life and found myself having thoughts that others told me were very Buddhist–and then I found myself exploring—and found a lot of peace and comfort in that exploration.

8. What kind of extra-curricular activities did you do for fun in high school?
I did nothing for fun in high school.  I was much more type A back then.  Like everything I did was for getting into college & getting scholarships.  Which worked, but was stressful.  I guess the closest was probably volunteering.  We used to buy things and make food boxes at Christmas and then deliver them.  We also worked events and did a lot of service projects.  I loved that so much.

9. What’s your weirdest pet-peeve?
I’m really anal about clean, clear countertops.  I hate stuff on my counters unless I’m actively cooking.

10. Which is better: asking for permission or asking for forgiveness?
I don’t know that either is better or worse.

11. What would you do if you inherited 1 million dollars tomorrow?
Probably buy a house and a car, then give the rest away to worthy causes.

12. What’s the most embarrassing moment of your life so far?
There are so many.  So, so many.  They don’t really stand out, but most involve me accidentally flashing body parts.  I’m not really embarrassed about them anymore!

13. What fictional character do you identify with the most?
Probably Hope Davis’ character in Next Stop Wonderland.

14. Are you a superstitious type of person? About what?
I can be.  When I was a kid, I used to think I had to do everything the same after I actually did well athletically–like I had this streak of being really great at the long jump.  Nowadays, I’m mostly superstitious about my thoughts.  Like not letting certain thoughts be said out loud–or they’ll happen.

15. Where would you rather live – a big house in the suburbs or a tiny apartment in a great location in the city?
I’m a city girl, but part of me really yearns for the peace of smaller places.  Like I’d love to live in the mountains or near a coast one day.

16. If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
Hah.  I’m currently wrestling with that now!  I think I’m leaning toward something that combines my current work with helping people.  Stay tuned.

17. Ever have any trouble with the law or get arrested?
I had my identify stolen years ago and was actually sued for something they did.  That was a bit of a nightmare.  I’ve always been on the right side of the law, though–except for almost getting arrested for protesting.

18.Which do you like more, a great book or a great movie?
A great movie.  Less work.  I get worn out easily these days.  And movies are just so much more–in a way.

19. Do you think it’s important to keep up with the news or do you not care?
It’s important, but so is self-care.

20. What’s the nicest thing you’ve ever heard about yourself? What do you WANT to hear about yourself?
The nicest thing I’ve ever heard was probably when people noticed how hard I work at really seeing people and honoring them.  It’s deliberate and hard for me since I am prone to that disconnect a lot of trauma survivors go through…so that’s a really big compliment for me.  I want to hear that I’ve made someone feel accepted or comfortable or appreciated.  I can get very caught up in my head–so it’s something I consciously work at.

21. What do you want to have going on in your life in 5 years, or 10, or 15?
Oh, gosh.  I’ll get back to you on that.  I will say this: I’m really feeling restless about a lot of shit in my life, so there will be a lot of change in the next five years.

22.Which would you rather be, smart or happy, and why?
Happy.  Smart is just about educating yourself.  Happy is more complex.  And simple, too.  But puzzling and often elusive.

23. You can have one superpower – and only one. What is it, and why did you pick it?
The ability to heal people instantly.  Like whatever causes suffering.  It’s so hard to be helpless when you see someone suffering.  As an empath, it’s even harder.

24. What’s your biggest regret that you have in your life so far?
Not saying goodbye.  Which was really about not being present in that moment.

25. Which show on TV do you absolutely HAVE to watch live when it airs?
The Walking Dead (I know) or Younger.

26. When did you have your first kiss and who was it with?
7 years old.  A little boy with a thunderbird tattoo.  Really.

27. If you were a waiter and a customer was a JERK , would you spit in their food?
Nope. I’m not that low.  I would just kill them with kindness.

28. What’s your favorite food to eat?
I love cheese. It’s just so good.  Also fruit.  All the fruit, all the time.

29. What’s your favorite type of music to listen to?
Indie, acoustic.  Small venues.

30. What’s the one movie you love more than any other movie?
Shawshank Redemption.  Nothing compares.

31. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

32. What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you?
Maybe falling in love with a guy who stalked me at a movie about suicide bombers.  I have a very weird, dark sense of humor that’s kind of random.  For me, the funniest things just sort of show up and then I forget them.  But I guess that is something people thought was pretty funny.  Or that time when I cut my ex-fiance’s hair.  That was pretty good.  Hint: I am horrible at cutting guy hair.

33. Has anyone ever walked in on you naked?
Some of my most embarrassing moments involve me with very little clothing on–so yes.  A whole crowd, even.

34. How do you deal with people in your life that you don’t like?
I try to be open and honest with them…to have empathy and set really clear boundaries–distancing if needed.

35.  What’s the funniest thing that happened in your childhood?
My childhood wasn’t filled with a lot of funny moments.

36. Do you like waking up early or staying up late?
I’m a night owl, but I have to get up early, usually.

37. What are you most afraid of?
Dying like my mother or dying alone.

38. What actress would play you in a movie about your life?
Noel Wells.


39. Pick one to live in: beach, city, or country?

40. Which describes your personality… naughty or nice?
Nice. I’m known for it, even.  But I have some naughty.

41.What’s the sexiest animal in the animal kingdom?

42. Who’s a celebrity you have a crush on?
Ben Gibbard. We even share a birthday.

43. You get to date one famous celebrity – who is it?
Duh. Ben Gibbard.  🙂

44. If you had the power to read someone’s mind, whose would it be?
I don’t think I’d want that power.  Being in my own head’s disturbing enough!

45. Did you ever cheat on a test in school?
No. I was the girl whose tests they looked at.



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