I know, I know. I’ve not really been around in any kind of meaningful way here. That is probably true for all my social networks, except–oddly–for Twitter (which I absolutely despise right now). I do check into FB once a week and lurk the rest of the time. But I’ve been on a decided no politics policy for the last little while. Social networks and blogging? Well, they aren’t supportive things for such a fast.
I’ve been wanting to write a lot. I’ve had projects in mind. One that I got halfway through. But it was a lot. I was basically documenting my life during the early days of Trump–using a lot of things. Modes. Ways. And I will likely share this at some point as a regular “feature” of the blog, but I stopped and gave myself a break because–well–I’m pissed.
I’ve had to be super gentle with myself. There’s a lot to be pissed about right now. So much. And I am recognizing some patterns that are intimately connected to my self-care and lack of boundaries and not being able to process trauma. So, I’m not avoiding, exactly. I’m picking my battles. I’m still making my five calls a day. Still giving money. I wish I had time to give. But there’s other stuff, too. Like living. And making my life better and giving in more meaningful ways that have little to do with who is in office.
I thought about writing about some encounters I’ve had at work lately. Things that mattered. But, at the end of the day, most days, I’m exhausted. So, I put pins in blogging. To the point that I’ve often thought about stopping. And well, blogging as infrequently as I do now, I kinda have.
So, I don’t know what here is going to be like for the next whatever. It will probably exist and I will probably post as I do. But I want to do more. Like sharing art I love. Sharing music. Immersing myself in stories. Going places.
I think I want this place to be more of a time capsule than a diary. And eventually, I’m going to create a beautiful site that is much more aesthetically pleasing and all the things–a one stop shop. But until then, I will share more of my real shit on Medium, and maybe I’ll repost old shit from back in the day. Things I’m proud of.
In the meantime, I will say hi here and there. But mostly, I will be doing what I’ve been doing:
- Working too hard.
- Caring too much.
- Doing the therapy thing.
- Figuring out what comes next and how to make it happpen.
- Keeping my sick kitty alive.
- Unpacking my crap before I have to pack it again.
- Buying art and finally printing my own work and actually framing it.
- Creating custom pieces for our apartment–since it’s essentially a gallery anyway.
- Cooking a lot. Trying for every day.
- Taking good care.
- Dealing with the stupid cracked wisdom tooth.
- Becoming a yogini.
- Learning how to weave.
- Finding a sangha.
- Dying my own damn hair (rose gold).
- Applying to MFA school.
- Maybe buying an Airstream.
- Not dating (but hey–raise your hand if you’re awesome).
- Trying not to hate the Bay Area.
- Eating delicious breakfast burritos.
- Being a West coast trainer for my company.
- Teaching people how to do things better because that’s all I think about lately.
- Looking for places to volunteer.
- Setting up a super awesome corporate service initiative for my company for my VP.
- Trying to be a less angry person while also harnessing my passion for good.
- Showing others there is so much to hope for and be grateful about.
- Oh, and maybe doing something with the 100K+ photos on umpteen hard drives.
- Sending you all the good vibes. Being your ultimate cheerleader. Need a pat on the back? Come at me, bro. I’ve got you.
Love you. ❤