this day changed everything.

This morning, when I logged into FB, the “this day” feature reminded me of two things.
On this day, in 2005, I adopted a very sick, curmudgeonly cat who would become my very best friend for 10 years. She was my silly, original grumpy cat who wheezed, was sick most of her life, and didn’t have a tail. The photo from 2005 made me smile, remembering the journey we had. She looked so small on my Mama’s old quilt, in my Mama’s old bedroom. It was the last photo I ever took in the home I grew up in, just two months after my mother died–on a non-digital camera (!). That little cat saved me, and I miss her every day.
Ironically, I didn’t remember that last year. Last year, I was too busy taking care of Fogg–dropping her off for her major surgery–one where she lost a fang & five teeth and two cancers. One was a mast cell tumor and was basically cured upon surgery. The other was a nasty fibrosarcoma–one of the dreaded cancers that makes everyone cry when they hear the bad news. On this day, last year, when I posted, I had no idea she had two cancers. I also had no idea that this surgery would work–but that it would set us on a life-changing course of a couple near death moments, pancreatitis, and diabetes. I was absolutely terrified on that day–unsure of what would happen and not at all prepared for what DID happen. But I’ve grown a lot since last year. Now, I give insulin injections without even a thought. Watching this cat, and making sure she’s not hypoglycemic, is basically automatic. My vocabulary has changed. But mostly, I’ve been grateful that she made it. That she has had no recurrence and is relatively okay. We still have ups and downs–like last weekend when her test results suggested she’s trending out of diabetic control–for no reason at all. I’ve learned to trust her vets and trust myself–that I can help her and we will get through it.
Fogg, and her health ordeal, has taught me to make the most of every moment. To not get upset over small things. To have more compassion and empathy. To find community with others who also love their animals so, so much. But, mostly, just to love and keep going. I’m so happy my whiny, sweet, loving, funny girl made it out of that dark tunnel. I hope we get many more years together.

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