because: cats.

So, I go out to feed the cats and prep Foggy’s medicine. It’s hailing and pouring down rain. The two boys are nowhere to be found. I get out Fogg’s insulin and Monkey comes out from his hiding place, crawling along with his body low to the ground. He says nothing. Which is like crazy talk since Monkey likes to talk, especially when it’s food time.
Me: Where’s your brother?
Monkey: *crickets, scared big eyes*
I pick him up.
Me: It’s okay. My Daddy’s just bowling with God. God’s mad because he’s not winning.
Monkey: *licks lips, rubs head on my forehead*
Me: Okay. Let’s get your food.
I let him down and get out the food, expecting to see or hear Rilly at any moment. Nothing.
Me: Monkey, you’re supposed to alert Rilly that the food is coming. How else is he gonna know?
Monkey: I hide at your feets, Mama.
Monkey: MAOOOOO. It’s coming for me!
Me: Rilly, where are you?
Rilly: I behind the big chair.
I find him.
Me: I have the foods. It’s delicious.
*BIG scared eyes*
Rilly: No. The world is scary. I never coming out.
Me: Okay. I guess Monkey will just eat all the foods.
Monkey: MAOOOOO. The scary rain monster gonna get me.
I pick him up.
Me: It’s okay. My daddy will protect us.
He licks my face.
Me: Aw. Monkey, you love me.
Him: You have tuna ducky on your cheek. It’s yummy.
Me: Ew. Gross. The Hell?
Rilly: I swear, I swear, I never coming out.
Me: Okay, Rilly. See ya later.
I go to give Fogg her food and medicine.
Me: C’mon, sweet girl.
Her: BLEEHHH. Oops. Antibiotics make me sick. Can I go outside?! I LOVE THE RAIN! YAYAYAYAYAY. Ooh, food. It stinks good. NOMNOMNOMNOM.
Me: Okay. Time for cuddles.
Her: You don’t fool me. That’s a needle. NOOOOOO. NOOOO. I don’t want to. You can’t make me. OOH, pets. *purr* I love you, Mama.
Me: I love you, too, Fooey. Sweet girl.
Her: Okay, I need more food. I lost a half teaspoon to the pukemonster. I gotta get it back.
*scratching on the door*
Me: Rilly–stop scratching on the door.
Monkey: It’s not Rilly. It’s me, Mama. I scared. And I ate all the food. I don’t feel so good.
Rilly: OOOOOOOHHHHHHH NOOOOOO. He ate my fooood. MAAAAAA. I can’t come out to hit him.
Me: There’s a bowl right there with dry food.
Rilly: But it’s not the fishies.
Monkey: I really don’t feel good, Mama. I need some air.
He walks to the window.
Monkey: BEHHHHELLEEHHE. Yuck. I didn’t do all of it though. I cover it up with carpet. Carpet doesn’t move. I pull out my fur and give it to the carpet.
Rilly: OH MY GOD.
*Rilly runs out and starts eating Monkey’s vomit.*
Monkey: Eww. That’s gross. Rilly, you’re nasty. I wonder if I could tell it’s vomit.  Is vomit tasty? MAOO.
Monkey: OH MY GOD. RUN!!!
Rilly: I call dibs. Mama, get outta my way.

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