maybe, this one doesn’t need a title.
January, and 2016, has not been kind so far. This week, in particular.
I’m struggling. A lot. I wouldn’t say full-blown depression yet, but a funk
I found myself really angry at people today. And sad. And did I mention fucking angry?
And what angers me most is that I really just need someone to hug me and tell me it’ll all be okay. Even if it isn’t okay. But I don’t have people in my life who can, or will, do that for me. And that pisses me off.
It’s such a small, simple thing. And yet, no one can actually do that for me. Even though I’ve picked them up off the pavement about fifty million times.
I am so mad I want to just stop talking to everyone. I want to tell everyone to fuck off and just hug my cat who loves me more than anyone on this planet. Which fucking sucks because I deserve more.
And to top off all the shitty bad day things that happened today, someone had to steal something that was supposed to help her. Because instead of the Universe sending me someone to reignite my hope in the goodness of people, it decided to send me a fucking asshole who thinks it’s okay to steal from a cat that has cancer. It decided I needed to be reminded that people suck and that they’re selfish and mean. As if I need more reminders of that.
Honestly, I would give up if I didn’t have three awesome little furry beings that relied on me to keep waking up. I just don’t know how much more crap I’m supposed to deal with in this life. I’m only 37, and I feel like a building that keeps getting wrecked.
I just need a few years without people dying or animals getting sick or losing things that help me feel hopeful and safe. Why can’t you just give me that, stupid fucktarded Universe?