it ends here

Obviously, yesterday, I was pissed.  Waking up this morning, the rage still existed.  And only grew as I read through social media. (Why do I do this?)

It’s really easy to get caught up in the topic of the week.  In the screaming matches of Twitter.  In the darkness of humanity.

I used to be afraid of my anger.  Of feeling.  For me, anger is just sadness with velocity–easier to live in.  But harder to release.  When I was younger, I would stuff down all my emotions, and then sometimes explode with an anger that scared even me.  It was very rare.  To this day, if I’m truly pissed off, it shocks people.  I tend to be an even keel, mostly.

But I’m learning how to let things go.  And the things I can’t let go of, I have to choose what to do with.  Do I steep and stew in my own crappy feelings, or do I transform them?

I don’t know about you, but when I’m angry, I can move mountains.  It’s what got me to college when I had no money to pay for it.  It’s what got me out of poverty.  That and a lot of hard work.

So, as I read all the sexist tweets that spouted up overnight, as I felt more and more disgusted about our world–I decided to do something about it.

I’m only one person.  I can’t stop millions of awful, woman-hating humans by myself.  But I AM powerful.  I have white privilege, money in my pocket, time, a Master’s level education, and the ability to share.

So, the world can continue steeping in its own crap.  But I am done letting this crap continue in my world.  I’m done with being an accomplice.  What does that mean?  It means that I will do everything I possibly can to not contribute to this culture of crap.  It means I will stop tolerating and engaging hate and sexism.  It means I’ll support every woman and girl I can, in the names of those who’ve died.  So I’ll give my money.  I’ll volunteer.  I’ll cheerlead and share.  I’ll tell my story and all the stories of the women I know.  When I see sexism, I will confront it–even if it comes from people I love.  It ends here, with me.  And if we all did this, maybe shit will change.  But my conscience will be clear.

 

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