stuff & things

This entry is going to be a sort of mishmash of updates and various thingamabobbers.

  • Facebook is being mean to me. I post comments. The comments disappear.  Friends–know I love you, and if I have things to share, from here on, I’ll be picking up the phone or sending emails or letters. Though I’m picketing the USPS for reasons. So, maybe I’ll just send you cloud mail.  Look up at the sky, wink, and that’s your message from me.
  • I found a pear in my bed.  I don’t know how it got there.
  • I woke up with a weird abrasion on my left eyebrow.  And it HURTS.  I don’t remember doing that.
  • I had ice cream sundaes for dinner.  I got 1/4 in and thought I’d die eating all of it.  I woke up with an ice cream hangover.  My body hates sugar these days.  That’s what I get for abstaining.
  • Sweet Fogg is back to normal!!  I credit her comeback to salmon (and its oil) along with mega doses of probiotics.  Labs are clear so far (so great that the vet was a bit shocked, given her age)  I still have to try to get pee and poo samples on Monday to return early Tuesday, before work.  (LUCKY me!).  I’ve been unsuccessful after a week of trying, so let’s hope hydrophobic sand is a winner.  Otherwise, baby girl goes to vet camp on Tuesday.
  • I’ve been in a pretty good mood since I decided to cultivate spaciousness.  In spite of the news yesterday and also feeling sorta sick. (I think I picked up something at my docs or the lab on Monday.  I blame the woman seeking a throat culture, without an appointment).  I’ve been super sore and achy, but in a great mood.  I think it’s because I’ve actually been listening to my own needs and making effort to meet those needs.  Today was my sacred day where I’m not supposed to do any work.  Typically, I dread Saturdays.  Usually, it’s spent cleaning cat boxes and fridges and bathrooms and taking out trash.  It’s just always the worst.  I got off work early yesterday, so I did all my cleaning before my normal quitting time.  I ordered groceries and put them all away.  (I ate watermelon–like a whole thing).  So, I basically ate dinner and chilled last night.  I fell asleep early, too.  It was kind of fantastic.  I slept till 9:30 am and decided to feed the cats (because while “work,” it must be done).  I have to admit I don’t mind it.  I like making sure my little buds are taken care of, and they are so excited for their tuna & mussels.  I had breakfast and texted with the guy.  He’s at some wedding, apparently, which was disappointing because I kinda wanted to try to chat over Facetime.  Sigh.  Then I cleaned–I KNOW.  But I actively chose to do it and only because not cleaning was stressing me out.  I stopped when I got tired, so it’s not so bad.  My need today was for self-compassion–because I knew I might have problems doing nothing–so I basically forgave myself and laughed at myself.  Because I am so my Mama’s daughter.
  • I had the weirdest dream ever last night.  I dreamt a friend of mine was opening a boutique in this office building that sort of looked like the Denver Post building–with the escalator and the stairs and the elevators.  Anyway, it was in this building and she had multiple suites on different floors.  This friend of mine was an actual friend of mine who is kind of a big deal artist and is known for her crazy creative stuff.  So, I’m in one of the suites that is apparently her office–and she doesn’t know I’m there–and I’m kind of snooping, while she’s in the back.  I’m not even sure why I was snooping.  Then, I left and went to the other suite–which was like a cross between a store and an office with a big sofa and lots of hats and knitted material.  And I’m about to put on this really beautiful hate–and steal it (seriously?!)–when I realize she’s in the back of THIS suite and so I leave the hat and run away–down the elevators and the stairs and escalators.  Now–I am not a thief–so this was just so bizarre.  I mean, WHAT?!
  • I am still in Denver. The roomie is supposed to go on a mad dash apartment search extravaganza this week.  (I’m not sure I believe him).  So we will see.
  • I want to make roasted chicken.  Fall is becoming an obsession again.  I’m glad I’m still here.

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Blog Challenge: Five Ways to Win My Heart

Half the time, I have no idea why I’m into people.  Sometimes, it’s for very superficial reasons.  Other times, it’s very complicated.  And other times, I feel pretty conflicted about my attractions.  So, to answer this, I’m just going to sort of review my past relationships and find the trends.

  • We have things in common.  I could say–“Oh, I like funny guys.”  And that’s totally true–I do.  But I don’t find everything funny.  A lot of “funny” people aren’t people who make me laugh.  (I’m looking at you, Adam Sandler).  Our values, goals, and personality have to feed off one another or complement.  I have a really dark sense of humor, sometimes, so I don’t really mesh with people who think of that as offensive.  I’ve also found I tend to really click with people who are as passionate and creative as I am.  I used to think I was just into writers, but the thing that drew me in was the passion they had for it.  I actually find a lot of writers hella-annoying.  I also think shared background is really attractive to me.  Sometimes, I will just feel at home with someone.  And it’s this inexplicable thing.  Later, I realize it’s because we use the same shorthand or have a shared understanding of the world.
  • They have no shame.  I’ve been into a lot of guys who did ridiculous things to get my attention.  Like things I found to be beyond rude–things that were totally embarrassing.  They just owned it and relished it.  I guess that means I like people who go for things–who take big risks if they want something.  Who are not wishy washy.
  • They’re themselves.  I may not like everything about them.  I may hate some things.  But they don’t apologize for who they are, and they trust I can handle it.  They are brave enough to be who they need to be, and they challenge me to do the same.
  • They’re intuitive and sensitive to the ever changing tide that is my emotional life.  They support me when I need support and question me when I need a good ass-kicking.  I don’t think I’m high maintenance, in most ways, but I can be challenging–to say the least.  I get really frustrated with people who just tell me what I want to hear or avoid the issues.  I’m not perfect.  If I’m being awful, I want to know.  I don’t want to be awful, so tell me so I can fix it.  On the other hand, some days are just not good days.  On those days, I need someone who will see that and will show up for me.
  • They’re vulnerable.  Kind of related to the shame thing.  They let me show up for them.  They trust that I have their back and nothing they say or do will change that.  Pretty sure this is also the easiest way to ruin a relationship with me.  In fact, I think this exact thing ruined most of my major relationships.  It’s hard to love someone who won’t let you.
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