the hippy-ization of almacita
Today was very much a rollercoaster. I stayed up late watching Dexter and old episodes of Survivor (sigh).
[BTW, does anyone else hate Deb this season–or is it just me?]
I spent my holiday watching movies and TV shows (Buffy, Thelma & Louise, Alien, Bionic Woman, Wonder Woman) after watching a documentary on female superheroes and their role in dialogue about feminism. It felt quite 1999 for me–since I used to watch these shows and write major papers describing the conversations these types of things had with us–without our knowledge, most of the time. The whole thing’s pretty fascinating. In any case, I somehow did something to my ankle, so I ended up watching even more telly–despite my vow to clean the apartment. Alas, that just wasn’t happening. I needed the rest, so it was time well-spent.
I also ended up staying up because, well, I was nervous. My naturopath appointment was early this morning. Which isn’t really nerve-wracking for most people, but I’ve never been to a naturopath before. Doctors, in general, cause me pretty bad anxiety. Plus, I knew there was a good chance I’d be getting acupuncture–something I was really curious about. But I HATE needles. I’m getting better at tolerating pokes and sticks, but the unknown has always been a little scary for me. I also knew we were going to be talking about my emotional health–which, while fine–also makes me anxious. It’s hard to just spill everything to a total stranger. Even one that’s there to help you.
So, I was awake. And when 6 am rolled around, I was suffering. I had just hit that groovy place of deep sleep when that awful beep happened. A little while back, I talked about how I was getting bad migraines and nausea mid-afternoon. Welp, eliminating coffee helped get rid of the afternoon nasties. However, I started waking up with acid reflux. Like bad. The type I used to get pre-surgery. Yesterday, eating helped it. Today, I didn’t have time, so I grabbed a Tums and immediately remembered that naturopaths look at tongues. So, I did my best to wash away the leftovers.
I’d spent a while last night filling out paperwork–basically a history of my life and my parents’ lives as well as immediate family. I was probably too thorough. That thing looked like my bio practicals back in the day.
I was actually running about 15 minutes early. Considering traffic on 36 is nightmarish this time of day, that was a great thing. But then I discovered someone had hit my parked car overnight. The back door, driver’s side looked like this–and the door itself would not open at all.
Luckily, the car was still operable with zero signs of issues. I still ended up leaving late because things had to happen before I was sure I could leave. Given the state of the car, and not knowing if there would be any veering or etc, I decided to take an alternate route–which would avoid highways. I did not want to be on 25 and have a problem. I’m just more comfortable on city streets anyway, and the damage was really bugging me. Who just hits a car and leaves? No note. No nothing. I was pretty pissed. I’ve seen a lot of this stuff happen on this street over the years–and it’s normally a drunk driver at fault. Which, considering how my half-brother died–and considering my near misses with such idiots–really bothers me. And I just tend to fixate on things I can’t do much about.
In any case, I missed a turn and ended up on 36 anyway…which meant traffic. It wasn’t as bad as it has been in the past, but it added a good half hour to my commute. I’d left with plenty of time, but I was still worried about being late because Boulder and I don’t really get along when I’m driving. I always get lost. Or can’t find parking. Or something.
I know the area pretty well. I actually wanted to move there last year. I might move there next year. So, I was kinda mad at myself when I missed my turn AGAIN. And I couldn’t easily turn around. But it turned out okay because I ended up here.
Boulder is really so lovely in the summertime. I saw a few really neat trails that I definitely want to explore. (Despite my native status, I’ve really spent very little time in Boulder–so I’m often just astounded by its beauty/hidden treasures).
Despite getting lost, I was able to find a parking spot and be 10 minutes early. My only regret? Not having time to stop at Pekoe for a green buddha with boba. Next time, Boulder. Next time.
When I walked into my naturopath’s office, I was really surprised by how spacious it was. It was in a house that had been converted into offices. It was very calming and welcoming. A sign asked visitors to remove their shoes, so I obliged–which was really weird…but in a good way. My naturopath came out to greet me and invited me to sit on the comfy couch in the exam area–which totally looked like a massage studio.
I gave her all my paperwork, and we discussed my life–my story, really–on all levels. Then, we talked about the six major things I wanted to work on. She asked many questions. Luckily, she was really easy to talk to. Since she was about my age, it was like chatting with one of my friends. And she really seemed to get everything I was saying. I didn’t have to do a lot of explaining–which is always nice. We talked about fears and where I think certain things come from. She told me she was really impressed with my self-awareness, and that it was apparent I’d done a lot of inner work. That was nice to hear.
My naturopath is also a medical intuitive. Coming from a science background, such things used to make me roll my eyes. But, as I’ve dealt with illness more, I’m more open to it. She immediately picked up on an unhappiness with home–that it felt like I didn’t have a sanctuary or a place that was mine where I could unwind. That’s very true. I moved here during a bad time in my life–and things got much worse the first year I lived here. I never wanted to move here, really. It was always just a temporary place. It’s never felt like mine. I’ve never really felt comfortable here. It reminds me a lot of my childhood home and just doesn’t fit me. Working from home, I never really get away from it.
We talked a lot about how important home is to me–how sensitive I am to my environment. Making this place feel like home is an ongoing battle, and I fully intend to do what she recommended: create places for myself that are sacred. She suggested burning sage to smudge out all the negative energy that exists here–and to even smudge myself on a daily basis–especially after bad days–to cleanse the bad energy. She gave me some sage to get me started.
Then, we did a resistance test to see what my body responded to. Again, my scientific brain was skeptical. But I kept an open mind. I was instructed to raise my right arm. I was then given a bottle of something or other to hold in my left. She felt my heart and then pushed on my arm (simultaneously) while I resisted. We did that a few times with a few different items. I had no idea they were homeopathic remedies. With some bottles, I got stronger. With others, I couldn’t resist at all.
We did a meditation thing before doing acupuncture. I had about 11 needles stuck in me. They were teeny-weeny and so not a big deal. But I definitely felt them. When she did a few spots, notably–my liver–it stung a bit. But with deep breaths, it went away in a few seconds. She then put an eye mask on me and turned on some nice, soothing wave-y meditation sounds. And I laid there like that for about 20 minutes.
Now, as much as I try, I’m awful at meditation. I immediately started thinking about the car and about driving home and about yadda-yadda-yadda. I did feel fairly relaxed after, though. When she took my needles out, I bled–which, apparently, is super unusual. But it also means I really needed the acupuncture, and my body did good work today.
I climbed off the massage table and went back to the couch. My naturopath then gave me her recommendations and remedies. I got some digestive enzymes to be taken with each meal–to get my digestive system back to balance. She gave me something called Calc Carb–to be dropped under my tongue twice a day. She gave me Nervous Tension to be put in a liter of water and sipped throughout the day. I plan on making cucumber lemon water at some point to help me drink it faster. It tastes like nothing, so this is good. She suggested I take a multivitamin and iron along with whatever else I’ve been taking that has worked for me. And she suggested I look into the blood type diet as an alternative to Aruyvedic eating–which she thinks can be very complicated/hard to follow.
Overall, totally not a Western approach to medicine–different in all ways. Which means I really liked it and will be going back. We’re probably going to be doing 2x/month and then weekly when money isn’t so tight.
I’m not abandoning Western medicine by any means. I’ll still get my check-ups and whatnot. But I find that Western medicine treats symptoms rather than preventing disease. The stuff I’ve been going through doesn’t really go away with Western therapies. Their tests say I’m in great health. So, why am I always exhausted? And what caused my gall bladder to self-combust?
My naturopath thinks it came from unresolved grief and anger that slowly built up throughout my life. That these things–along with just not taking good care of myself–overwhelmed my liver–which overwhelmed my gall bladder and put huge stress on my digestive system. I totally believe this. Our thoughts and how we process toxic emotions? They matter.
I’ve had first doses of everything. So far, so good. I had a ton of energy driving home–which, considering I got 2 hours sleep, is crazy awesome. Now? I’m really sore and achy–like in places I normally don’t get sore and achy. And it’s a…deeper…kind of achy. Mid-back is really feeling it. My calves are like spaghetti, and I definitely need a nap. Even my fingertips hurt.
My hair doesn’t seem to be falling out so much. My ankle doesn’t hurt nearly as much as it did. I’d say this is helping.
My naturopath said that it’s not unusual to experience things I’ve experienced before again as it “moves through me” and heals. That sorta scares me.
On the way home from Boulder, I got lost again. And found a new, super scenic way to and from the Bubble. It takes a little more time (though it’s less if you hit 36 traffic) and is so much more relaxing. You can actually do the speed limit! And no one rides your ass the whole way! Holy crap.
And there were wildlflowers. We’re talking meadows, people. Miles and miles of purples and yellows and pinks and oranges and blues. All with that signature grassy rolling hill thing and views of the Flatirons. I *almost* stopped to play. I was so tempted to get out and pick little bouquets. Just gorgeous. I will definitely be going there once I have more energy and start portraiting again.
It was all going so good and then a stupid drunk driver tried to kill me. Honestly, it’s a damn good thing I’m such a defensive driver–because it would have been yucky otherwise. The dweeb also got arrested, so that made it better. I’ve had so many near misses while driving (all due to other people’s inanity) that I’m pretty sure I have some good guardian angels.
We’re trying out a meal delivery service five days a week to sort of get a handle on our food spending and waste. We always buy so much food and end up planning really terribly–so a lot is wasted. And cooking healthful food that meets both our needs is a real challenge. This service is delivered to us, by Mama/chef. We got our first delivery today, and it’s beyond delicious looking. It’s really nice not to spend beaucoup bucks on stuff that’s special and healthy. I think this will really support us both in getting our needs met and will help us find more time to do the things we want to do.
I’ll try to share my reviews of the food and service as we get more acquainted with it.
Have a great week, y’all!