monday, monday

Today has an odd energy to it.  Unfortunately, I’m sleep deprived–though I went to bed at 7 pm last night.  My roomie woke me up to install something in my room–which meant moving stuff to get to other stuff–which kept me awake longer than I wanted.  I fell back asleep pretty easily, only to have Rilke invade my bedroom at midnight.  I woke up to a kitten on top of my bookshelf–all glowing crazy eyes–crying because he was, apparently, stuck…and the bookshelf was swaying.  I covered up my head the first time.  Second time, I got a little pissed.  He’s always in my bedroom if I don’t close the door–and let’s just say he gets into trouble every time.  So, I left my room and lured him out.  And then, shut the door.

Only I was mad still.  So, I went back to obsessively watching back episodes of Awkward–which I got hooked on this weekend.  I did lay back down after an hour, but couldn’t sleep and finally gave up a full hour before I was supposed to be awake.  Sigh.

I’ve had four cups of tea today–2 jasmine and 2 peach.  I have a feeling this will be a daily thing this summer.  I also had popcorn, grapes, and cheese for breakfast.

I was really excited this morning because I thought I’d have a no-phone day today, but then someone set-up an appointment on my other calendar.  Working with two laptops and multiple systems is not fun.  Sometimes, it drives me nuts.

I don’t mind it much.  It should be a quick screen, and I like talking to people.  But I really wanted to be productive today.  Unfortunately, my brain is not cooperating.  I feel like a hummingbird on crack.  Too much to do with no focus as to where I should begin.  I’ve been doing stuff, but it FEELS like I’m doing nothing.  Maybe that’s good?  I dunno.


If you’ll recall previous entries to this here blog, I’ve been in the midst of thinking about my life.  Nothing new there.  I think I’ve (mostly) figured stuff out.  The angst is dissipating anyway, and I do have a rough sketch of the next several months.  The big change is that, for once, I’m just going to work for a while.  Focus on routines and getting focused on what really matters again.  I’ve  convinced myself I don’t have to be the team leader in terms of production.  I just have to do my best and be healthy.  That’s all that matters.

My final surgical appointment went well.  I’ve been cleared to get back to stuff soon.  I’m still dealing with some open wounds, unfortunately, so I’ll have a few more days.  They’re looking much better today, actually.  It feels odd to actually have time to do things, and yet, I’m still so worn out that doing things has been challenging.  I’m trying not to judge myself and just accept the nervous energy that’s invaded my body today.

I promise to start posting pictures and etc later this week.  ❤


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