life inventory, year 34

About twice a year–at my birthday and around New Year’s–I try to check in with myself and do a sort of accounting of my life.  I find that it’s helpful to sort of take a time-out and reflect on what’s working, what’s stalling, and what could be better if only something changed.  And then, I like to try to change those things.  I’ve done this a lot in the past, to varying degrees of success–usually with a focus on making sure my intentions were clear and using that as my guidepost.  Which isn’t a bad idea.  However, it’s easy to get off-course, even with the best intentions, when you don’t have places to rest and things to hold onto.  I have so many ideas all.the.damn.time that it can be hard to channel them into concrete action and to even focus.  I have a hard time staying disciplined.  So, just like when I taught, I’m going to try my best to give myself a roadmap to follow when life is being life.  And I’m going to use this post as a reminder of why and how.

The intention part (willingness) is the biggest part of this because it’s kind of like surrendering–telling the world what you’re willing to do and asking for its support.  This is a new concept for me.  But one I hope will help me stick to my intentions AND goals.  I know this will probably come across as very Type A, but I’m being me.  So, what?

(This will be really long and probably not so interesting if you’re not me).

Career

This Year:

Professionally, this was probably one of my most successful years I’ve ever had.  I paid my dues last year, had some uncertainty at the beginning of the year, and then got an amazing opportunity to really be a leader on a brand new team.  I was pretty much my boss’ right hand woman this year, and I really enjoyed being a leader and having people’s respect.  I broke company records, and I really took a lot of pride in what I was doing.  Toward the end of the year, though, I was on the verge of burn-out and started having some health problems because of it.  I decided to take an extended period of time off to sort of take care of myself.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

I helped a lot of good people find work.  I gave people who didn’t always get fair chances at things a break.  I helped launch a few people’s careers.  I gave a lot of people career advice.  I was able to be a good resource for my hiring managers, colleagues, and clients.  I built an amazing relationship with my boss and found managers who really value me and try their best to do the right things.  I’ve healed a part of my professional past that I thought I’d never make peace with and rediscovered something I never thought I’d find in this line of work.  I was able to be my service-oriented, detail-crazy self.  I was able to bring more of who I really am to the table.  I learned a lot of things about my profession and myself.  I rebuilt my own sense of self-worth this year.  I stood up for myself when I absolutely needed to, and I was courageous in recognizing my own limits–even if it took me months to do it.

What didn’t go so great:

In some ways, doing the work I do–with any sense of humanity at all–requires me to give up pieces of myself…sometimes, the most precious pieces of myself.  I struggled a lot with boundaries and perfectionism–throwing myself under the bus to serve others.  It’s an easy thing for me to do.  I worked so many hours for free, at my own personal cost–which was frustrating, but (I thought) necessary.  I set such high standards for myself and ended up resenting everyone for the choices I made and my inability to say no.   I whined a lot when people weren’t listening!  I stopped having any personal life at all.  I took out my frustrations on people who didn’t deserve it.

My intention (s):

I am willing to be imperfect and human.
I am willing to put myself first.
I am willing to be brave and tell people when situations aren’t working for me.
I am willing to take risks to secure my future.

What I’d like to change:

Well, I have changed it.  It’s just a matter of starting over and deciding how to approach the next chapter.  I’d like to stay in this industry, with this company, with my managers–though not necessarily this team.  I really like the work I do.  I like working from home.  Our clients are challenging because they all need our help for a reason.  I have to be more discerning about who I work with and what I’m doing.  I have to put conditions on what I do.  I have to speak up when I’m sacrificing too much and know it.  I can’t continue working overtime, for free, or not eating lunch all day.  Or never taking a break.  I need to make time for meals, walks, and social interaction with colleagues.  I need a friend who gets it and who I can vent to when things aren’t going great.  I need to get out of the house during the day and look into working from the library or a co-working site or the balcony.  I need to travel–one of the main reasons I took this job was its location flexibility.  I need to identify the precious parts of myself that I lose to this job and then take steps to protect those parts of myself.

Some goals:

  • Do more “pro-bono” type work, on a professional basis.  Get involved with local groups that help people find work.  Start a work-advice blog.  
  • Spend at least 2 days a week working outside (on the balcony), at the library, or somewhere else.  Invite friends, sometimes.
  • Go to more networking events and happy hours with other young professionals.
  • Go to career-oriented conferences.
  • Be a Nazi about my schedule–especially as it relates to breaks, meals, and admin time.
  • Never work more than 2 hours of OT.  Only work OT maybe 1% of the time.
  • Make one good friend on my new team, and call him/her once a week just to say hi.
  • Don’t respond to every email immediately.
  • Don’t answer the phone just because it’s ringing.
  • Take on more training and leadership functions.
  • By 2014, ensure that 1/4 of my income comes from consulting gigs.

Health

This Year:

It’s been one of the more tougher years of my life, health-wise.  I just haven’t felt well.  I’m always sick.  I’m always tired. I can’t seem to get on the other side of it.  A lot of that is stress, I know.  But, truthfully, since turning 30, that’s been the case.  And even before then.  I guess, if I had to pinpoint it, it came when I was diagnosed as having a hypothyroid condition and then was put on drugs that completely blew up my metabolism and made me crazy.  I’ve been crawling back to the self I fought so hard to achieve ever since.

Simply put, I am sick of this shit.  Like so beyond done.  While I’ve been working for some time on getting healthier by doing things like going to the doctor to get possible skin cancer checked out or eating higher quality food, I’ve been terrible at taking good care of myself this year–which is absolutely inexcusable because I know exactly what I need to do, and I know I’m failing in every way.  I’ve let my normal excuses get in my way–namely, I still put everyone ahead of me.  I still find it extremely hard to hold myself accountable when I do that.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

I don’t have skin cancer.  Yay.  Just a mole.  I found a wonderful dermatologist that I trust.  I made a little peace with modern medicine, though I’m still uneasy when I go.  I have perfect blood pressure and have no signs of anything bad–despite how much I’ve abused my body in this life.  It’s kind of a miracle in that way.  I became a lot more aware of my body–as I was fighting with it.  I know what foods hurt me now, and I know that exercise fixes so much that I struggle with.  I’ve done a lot of research on alternative medicines and have successfully used some of these fixes to fix me when modern medicine wasn’t an option.  I’ve stopped worrying as much about some things, but I’m much more committed to other things.  I’m eating better (with the exception of this week…ha).  I have a plan.

What didn’t go so great:

I never did find a good general practitioner, though I now have leads.  I never did get into the dentist for what surely will be a scary experience.  I also didn’t find a therapist.  I got my eyes checked and discovered I am old and need glasses.  I relied far too much on over-the-counter fixes when I was absolutely miserable.  I lost a lot of time that could have been spent doing things I love doing–or at least doing the things I had to do without feeling like death warmed over.  My quality of life was terrible this year.

My intention (s):

I am willing to be uncomfortable.
I am willing to sacrifice things who I think I am for who I could be.
I am willing to put myself first and do the work/pay the price for major change.
I am willing to try–and to keep trying–even if I fail.

What I’d like to change:

Pretty much everything.

Some goals:

These are so stupid and obvious, but–for me–they have to be goals.  Because I can’t seem to keep myself from veering off-track.

  • Sleep at least 8 hours a day.
  • Eat when you’re hungry, and only as much as you want–not just to make someone happy.  Don’t eat things you hate.
  • Successfully complete the entire three weeks of the Virgin Diet and the weeks after to determine what needs to be dropped.  Then, stick to it.  
  • Do a major cleanse 2 times a year.
  • Move every single day.  Even if it’s only for 10 minutes, watching a YouTube video.
  • Drink 10 glasses of water every single day.
  • Avoid soda at all costs, especially caffeinated/dark sodas.
  • Use the herbs and vitamins in your cabinet.
  • Go to a Chinese doctor.
  • Get a monthly massage from the massage school once a month.
  • Get the sauna key from your landlord and go every other day.
  • Sit in the hot tub on the days you don’t sauna.
  • Wear your damn glasses.
  • Keep a health/food/exercise journal.  Daily, damnit.
  • Meditate every single day.
  • Pretend you’re your own child.  Take care of yourself the way you’d take care of that child.
  • Go to the damn dentist already.
  • Find a new doctor.  Go.
  • Scrutinize what doctors tell you.
  • Find a therapist, or even a support group.  Something.

Home

This Year:

My home went from being a little bit messy to a place of absolute chaos and stress.  Things started breaking.  I ended up spending a lot more time at home, with no break.  We got a new kitten.  And we accumulated stuff that we didn’t really deal with.  It all seemed like a good idea at the time.  When you live with another person, in a space that’s too small for two people–and that person isn’t exactly tidy–and you don’t have time to really make your home what you want it to be–it’s not the best place to exist.  But–to be honest–this place has NEVER felt like home.  It was a place to stay until I moved to New York, and then I kinda got stuck here due to circumstances beyond my control.  This home is full of very stressful memories and bad energy.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

While I hate this place, it has done its job: been a roof over my head.  Most of the time, it’s fairly quiet here.  I can have my cats here, and no one cares.  They didn’t raise the rent by much.

What didn’t go so great:

We’ve had major plumbing problems that haven’t really been fixed.  Or were temporarily fixed by shoddy means.  The heating/cooling system is a nightmare–so much so that we had to buy an air conditioning unit for my room–which gets unbearably hot in the summer.  Our kitchen is so tiny that cooking is not fun.  There’s no space for anything and everything is always everywhere.  I feel like I’m always cleaning and organizing, but never actually getting the place to be what I want it to be–or even anything close.  Our upstairs neighbor has been loud.  People steal our mail.  We were without power and water for days–which forced me not to work since I couldn’t actually call anyone or get online.  The amenities in the building weren’t really maintained this year either, so I didn’t want to use them–so it didn’t really support my needs the way I wanted. All of the above caused a lot of stress/fighting between me and roommate–especially since we have very different living styles, and I was often forced to be the taskmaster to keep things liveable–which didn’t serve me at all and just caused major upset all the time.

My intention (s):

I am willing to work hard to change my environment to better suit my life.
I am willing to stop complaining about where I live and find a new home.
I am willing to get rid of things I don’t need or love.
I am willing to trust that other people want the same things I do–but maybe have different ways of getting there.
I am willing to calm down and allow myself to rest when I need rest.

What I’d like to change:

I’ve started the long process of purging, but it’s going slow since I’ve been sick for like forever.  I’d like to be a lot more mindful about what I bring into my home–whether it’s thinking about the source of whatever it is or getting rid of things that I don’t love, find useful, or truly need.  I don’t feel like this place represents me in any way.  When I come home, I actually tense up–which is the absolute opposite of how I used to feel with my old place.  I remember, there, I would exhale and feel peace when I was home–no matter how messy it was.   A lot of that has to do with subtle shifts I can totally make, but I have to get rid of stuff to really make those shifts.  It’s kind of a crime to possess things that you love, but can’t access.  Or to have things you really don’t need/want/love just because it’s too bothersome to get rid of it.  There are so many people who would cherish it.  I just feel like the whole thing clutters up my world and blocks my energy/ability to be myself and enjoy my life.

Some goals:

  • Perform a blessing ceremony to get rid of the bad juju in this place.
  • Rid myself of anything I don’t love, need, or find useful.
  • Give away things to people, if it’s something others would want/need.
  • Decide what I want to do in the near future in terms of home and then put an action plan together.
  • Stop trying to hold people accountable all the time.  I’m not the boss.  While integrity is important to me, punishing them by reminding them of how they’ve failed me doesn’t help anyone feel good about anything.  It doesn’t get things done faster.
  • Build a supportive, loving, interdependent environment where both of us are represented and have room to live our lives the way we choose to live them.
  • Create spaces for things I need to be happy.
  • Infuse my home with joy and beauty by enjoying what I have now.
  • Do a little every single day–no excuses.

Money

This Year:

It was actually a pretty good year for money–which is surprising given how bad things were in the recent past.  I finally got a job that paid me what I was worth–though it could have been more.  I had enough for just about everything with a little extra–which is exactly what I’ve always wanted.  Not to be rich, but to be comfortable.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

I was able to handle some financial crises without any meltdowns.  I was able to get ahead of some things–enough so that a few things will be coming off my plate in  few months.  This is such a huge relief.  I was able to support myself, have fun, and be generous with friends/charities from time to time–though that was still something I struggled with.  I didn’t have to worry so much because I finally had insurance.

What didn’t go so great:

While I was promised a raise, twice, nothing ever materialized.  It probably would have if I hadn’t taken my break and been more persistent.  While I was paid well, for my performance, I should have been paid more.  I spent a little recklessly, mostly because–after so many months of doing without–I really needed a lot of things.  I could have been a lot more frugal and saved a lot more.

My intention (s):

I am willing to be responsible and generous.
I am willing to stand up for what I’m worth and understand my worth.
I am willing to be a good steward and save for raining days.
I’m willing to put my dollar where my mouth is–and support businesses/charities/people who reflect my values–not just convenience.

What I’d like to change:

I’d like to save a lot more.  That was all wiped out over the last few years.  My Mama’s illness really hurt me financially, and I’ve dealt with some shitty ex things that have tapped out a lot of what I had.  There was also a really rough time that lasted an extended period.  I’m finally on the other side, but I’d like to create a safety net for myself and also start saving so I can pay off all my debts and fund the rest of my college education soon/provide a cushion for myself when I can’t work traditional jobs due to internship/school requirements.

I’d like to spend a lot less on things.  I get ideas in my head and have every intention of doing them–and then get distracted.  Or I give in to impulses.  Or I need something because I can’t find it or something breaks.  I need to get back in the habit of being frugal and really scrutinizing how I spend my money.

Some goals:

  • Pay myself first.  Put a portion of my earnings away.  
  • Figure out the 401K thing once and for all.
  • Be more dilligent about tracking expenditures and managing my dollars.
  • Only buy things I love and need.
  • Find solutions other than spending.  (Can I make this myself?  Can I do the laundry instead? Do I really need one more tomato plant?)
  • Plan.
  • Have non-monetary things to look forward to.  Find worth outside of being secure financially.
  • Apply to fellowships/grants to offset costs of grad school.
  • Sock away any money made from consulting or photography.

Love

This Year:

It was not the best year for love for me.  I broke up with someone I had been miserable with right before Valentine’s Day.  I didn’t handle it as well as I should have.  Then, I tried to be friends with him–months later–only to end up regretting that effort.  I didn’t flirt this year.  Well, maybe unintentionally.  I didn’t go out this year.  I attempted online dating a few times, but abandoned it because my heart wasn’t in it.  I want to be in a relationship, but I don’t.  I just feel exhausted by it, and no one really piques my interests–except for the ones I’ve already had half-assed something or others with–who are probably bad for me.  I wish I didn’t feel so apathetic, but the truth is–I really like being alone.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

I learned to love me again.  I didn’t settle for someone just because of what he wanted and his feelings.  I honored my feelings and did the hard thing–which was oh-so-hard.  I stood up for myself.  I didn’t allow someone to continue injecting crazy into my life.  I got very clear about what I need from a relationship.  I focused on me and being a better person for myself.  I did a lot of forgiving this year and made peace with many of my exes this year–even if they don’t know it.

What didn’t go so great:

It was an emotionally charged, yet pretty apathetic love year.  I was either in a rage or completely disinterested.  No one grabbed me or even made my ears perk up.  I didn’t meet even one new interesting man outside of work and none I’d even want to flirt with.  I didn’t have any fun with love.  Not a bit.

My intention (s):

I am willing to be a whole person.
I am willing to work on myself.
I’m willing to trust the Universe.
I’m willing to try to have hope, a good attitude, and a sense of humor.
I am willing to fail.
I am willing to be vulnerable.
I am willing to wait.

What I’d like to change:

Honestly, I don’t really want to be alone anymore.  I miss having a sidekick.  I miss having a best friend who I can lean on.  I miss male energy.  I don’t want to fight with people or deal with any of the superficial pretenses or bullshit we all throw out there.  I just want something meaningful that will inspire me to be a better me.

Some goals:

  • Be vulnerable with the right people.  Figure out who those people are and engage them.  Avoid the others like the plague.
  • Give up on people who have given up on you.
  • Let go of the baggage…whatever the Hell it is.  Figure out what it is and systematically remove it from your life.
  • Wear your heart on your sleeve, and be proud of it.
  • Kiss at least one someone this year.
  • Flirt all the damn time.  Because you’re good at it.
  • Be less angry and afraid.  Forgive even more.
  • Love me better.

Family

This Year:

I don’t feel like I have family right now, other than my friends–and often, I feel resentful of even them.  I really do feel like I’m a little sailboat out alone on the open ocean.  It still makes me sad.  But I don’t really feel like the remaining members of my family act like family, so it’s hard for me to keep trying or to really feel connected to them.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

There was some hope around this time last year, with one of my cousins–who doesn’t seem crazy.  There seems to be a willingness from some family members to at least talk–though no one does.

What didn’t go so great:

It seems like I’m always the one to try in this family.  If I forget or get busy, any progress we make disappears.  That’s what happened in 2012.  And then, there was the incident from a few days ago.  It’s hard for me to turn the other cheek all the time.  I’m running out of space.

My intention (s):

I am willing to honor my Mama’s memory and wishes.
I am willing to keep a door open–if they want to reach out to me.
I am willing to let them go if they don’t want to make efforts to know me.
I am willing to preserve my own heart.
I am willing to forgive.

What I’d like to change:

Honestly, I don’t want superficial relationships with anyone anymore.  I feel like–at best–that’s what I have with my family…no matter what I do.  They don’t know me.  I know little about them–except for their bad behavior and abandonment.  I’d like to have close family ties, but we will never be the goddamn Waltons.  I guess I just want them to see me for who I am and not make assumptions about me.  I want them to make efforts to reach out to me and have real conversations with me instead of these hollow or cruel extremes.

Some goals:

  • To acknowledge their efforts, when they make them, with love.
  • To build a support network for myself with whoever would like to be part of it–family or not.

Friends

This Year:

It’s been a rough year for friendship in my world.  Mostly because I sort of retreated due to things in my life getting to be overwhelming.  I wasn’t good at communicating.  But I was also irritated and hurt as so many friends didn’t make efforts to be in my life.  Some didn’t even wish me happy birthday.  Some haven’t for two years running.  It’s hard for me to invest in people who don’t invest in me.  I didn’t feel supported by anyone, really, and I really just felt mad at a lot of people.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

Some friendships got better, funnily enough, because these people made efforts to be there.  I made some new friends with people I’d like to know better.  The friends who were there for me were amazing.  I learned who I could count on and who I can’t.

What didn’t go so great:

I lost some friends for various reasons.  Others, I might as well have lost.  But most are at superficial levels at the moment.  Part of that is my fault.  But part of it reinforces the beliefs that caused me to isolate myself.

My intention (s):

I am willing to be more social.
I am willing to support others and ask for support when I need it.
I am willing to try.
I am willing to own my parts of the relationship.

What I’d like to change:

I want better, more supportive, closer friendships and not just ones on Facebook.

Some goals:

  • Let go of people who I need to let go of.
  • Let people support me and support them back.  Don’t assume I know what they need from me.
  • Make fewer assumptions.
  • Be a better communicator.
  • Reach out more often.
  • Don’t rely on socal networks so much.

School

This Year:

I didn’t enjoy school much this year.  Honestly, for most of it, I was just wishing it would end–contemplating quitting but knowing I was too close to give up now.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

I did well.  I’m closer to graduating.

What didn’t go so great:

I don’t feel like I learned much about my subject area or myself.  I felt isolated and blase about what I was doing.  I lost my passion for it and kept dreaming of pursuing another degree.  I mostly had professors who didn’t really challenge or teach me.  My classmates were nice, but also didn’t challenge me–for the most part.  I only really liked one of my classes.  And I spent a lot of money to do all of the above.

My intention (s):

I am willing to learn and be curious.
I am willing to be a schoolgirl and take myself more seriously.
I am willing to be more engaged and to try to finish strong.

What I’d like to change:

I’d like to quit this program and start my PsyD.  I am excited for my new class and hopeful it will give me back my mojo.  I’m so close, though, that I really just want to get this done as quickly as possible.

Some goals:

  • Try to remember why I wanted to study this stuff in the first place.
  • Do more work with nonprofits outside of what’s required to stay inspired.
  • Engage in more discussions about topics in the field.
  • Try to interact with my classmates more and get to know them.
  • Challenge my professors and classmates to teach me something I don’t know.

Travel

This Year:

Travel has been a mixed bag this year.  I actually did a lot of it, but not necessarily in the ways I wanted and not always to the desired effect I hoped for.  I did find some new favorite places, though.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

I went to Santa Fe/Abiquiu and fell totally in love with New Mexico.  I’ve been there before, but something was different this time.  I was able to shop and take lots of pretty photos.  I went to Jackson, WY and loved the town (hated the weather).  While I didn’t enjoy our trips to the park, I really found a little town I’d like to know better–even if the roadtrip there was hellacious.  I got to travel all over Colorado–including Mount Evans, which is still one of my favorite places.

What didn’t go so great:

The drought and associated fires made most of my Colorado roadtrips really disappointing.  I didn’t see as many animals–sometimes, none at all–and it really bummed me out.  I also went to my favorite spot in Colorado only to be devastated at the effect the drought had on it.  I also had really bad experiences with other drivers–especially in Yellowstone–and just didn’t have much fun on that trip other than Jackson itself.  I didn’t make it out anywhere for more than a couple of days, and I didn’t get to travel internationally or visit my beloved Big Sur.

My intention (s):

I am willing to find beauty and worth in every adventure I tackle.
I’m willing to save my pennies.
I’m willing to dream big and make plans.

What I’d like to change:

I’d like to do more out-of-state, international trips.  Colorado is great and all, but I’ve seen pretty much everything you can see.  I feel like I’m getting jaded.

Some goals:

  • Travel internationally for the 2013 holiday season.
  • Go back to New Mexico and Jackson.
  • Visit NOLA and Big Sur.
  • Establish a travel fund for myself.
  • Travel solo more.

Writing

This Year:

Well, other than blogging, it’s been a quiet writing year.  I’ve written some stuff here and there and have had big ideas, but I haven’t spent much time actually doing it.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

I’m still passionate about writing, have ideas, and can say things when I want to.

What didn’t go so great:

I found less and less time for anything I valued.  I got caught up in things that had to be done.  I didn’t feed my soul or take care of that part of myself.

My intention (s):

I am willing to be inspired.
I am willing to be heard.
I am willing to share what matters to me.
I am willing to try.

What I’d like to change:

I’d like to write “real” stuff–not just blogging–once a week, at least.  I want to work on my play and do creative things with photography.

Some goals:

  • Work on my photography/writing idea.
  • Work on my Denver project.
  • Commit to an hour of writing each week.

Art/Creativity

This Year:

I’ve actually done a lot more artistic stuff this year than is immediately apparent.  I’m a creative being.  I just don’t always have the follow-through.  I have so many half-finished projects and things just waiting for me to pick them up.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

Photography.  It’s been my sanity for a while and is something that’s easy for me to do.

What didn’t go so great:

I’ve kind of been too much of a perfectionist and have gotten frustrated with myself when my visions of things haven’t coincided with what I tried to do.  I have let this be an excuse to be lazy.

My intention (s):

I am willing to allow myself to be myself.
I am willing to work hard to create beautiful things that bring me joy.
I am willing to share my process and my product.
I am willing to experiment and be wrong.

What I’d like to change:

I’d like to make more time for this on a daily basis.

Some goals:

  • Tackle a 365 photo a day project with my DSLR.  
  • Work on projects around the home that I’ve been putting off.
  • Do more than just photography.
  • Play around more with my photography.  Be more creative in my shoots–like I used to be.
  • Photograph more people.

Fun

This Year:

It’s been a serious year–one with lots of anger.  I’m tired of being angry.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

I am grateful that I never lost my sense of humor–though it wasn’t always appreciated.  I am grateful for the people who did get me and did make me laugh.  I am grateful–so much–for music and my kitties.

What didn’t go so great:

People pissed me off a lot, and I was easily pissed off.  I surrounded myself with people who are a lot more serious than I normally am.  I worked far too hard, usually alone.  I was too exhausted most of the time to have a personal life.

My intention (s):

I am willing to be light.
I am willing to smile.
I am willing to be me.
I am willing to be happy.

What I’d like to change:

I’d like to be surrounded by happy, silly people who love their lives and are doing things to be better.  I want to be more positive myself and to let my idealistic side really shine because that’s who I am, at my core.  I want to spend more time indulging my inner six year old and far less time explaining, reconciling, and accommodating tortured topics.

Some goals:

  • Only give time to people who make me feel good or inspire me.  Get rid of the chronic complainers and naysayers.
  • When people throw their crap in my lap, erect a shield and send it back to them.
  • Don’t compromise my joy for the comfort of someone else. Ever.
  • Skip more.  Dance more.  Fall back in love with life.

Karma

This Year:

This went pretty well for me.  I did a lot of good work this year and was very service oriented in both my professional and personal lives.  It makes me happy to do that.

What went right/what I’m grateful for:

I’m grateful that my experiences are worth something and that people want to know what I think.  I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to give back to people and to learn from them.

What didn’t go so great:

I felt like I could have had richer experiences, in some cases.  I wish I had more time/energy to devote to these things.

My intention (s):

I am willing to be a resource for people in need.
I am willing to empower other people and lift them up when they need a good cheerleader.
I am willing to be a good steward for my planet and community.

What I’d like to change:

I want to make more time to support causes I really care about.  I want to be more creative in terms of how I support them, too.

Some goals:

  • Do more nonprofit consulting.
  • Volunteer somewhere just for the love of it–like I used to–and not because it’d help me with my grad program.
  • Find a volunteer niche/community that I fit into.
  • Be a leader in my community.

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